The first installment of #PTADiaries: Adventures with Amethyst Roberts… Volume 1
I’m what they call an instant mom, oh wait is that right? What’s it called when you inherit your sister’s children? Is it legal guardian? I have no idea other than I’m stuck in hell. That’s what happens when your twenty-seven, loving life in the big city but pulled to live in the burbs. Now, don’t get me wrong as I love my niece and nephew, it’s just that I don’t do this mom thing well.
My life before this transition consisted of me going to work in the morning as a receptionist, usually hung-over from the night before. Where as my nights were filled with glasses of clear liquid that burned the lining of my throat with each sip. I love two things in life; men and martinis… Everything else comes and goes, but these are the two regular things. Well, that was until now.
Life changed when that call came from my parents; it was enough to knock me sober. I’m not sure how to deal with it, or process how this all happened. One minute I’m single, the next I have a three thousand square foot house, two kids, one dog, and a minivan. Here’s to the new life and adventures of Amethyst Roberts, single twenty-seven-year-old, with two children she knows nothing about. Oh, did I forget to say that my sister was the neighborhood watch founder, Vice President of the kid’s PTA, and on ever fundraiser known to mankind? I did leave that out didn’t I, why do you ask? That would be because I would like to forget about this, but that doesn’t seem to be happening anytime soon.
Since arriving here, I’ve been approached by every woman, man, child, and dog within a fifty-mile radius. Everyone has asked if I plan to take over my sister’s responsibilities, or wants to know if I plan to bake those cookies for the bake sale. To my surprise, it wasn’t very funny to ask them if they accepted them with pot in the ingredients. Who was I to know that this is frowned upon in the burbs? I mean I did know this, but if you could picture these ladies in a circle ready to pounce you at any given moment, it was terrifying. Sweaters buttoned up to their necks, pearls, and boring beige slacks. Okay, you get the idea of what I’m dealing with. Needless to say, I’m pretty sure they’ve recruited one of them to taste test anything and everything I bake- just to be safe.
When I think about the taste tester sitting in the pantry waiting to find out if they are getting the lucky batch or not, I laugh. It’s the little things like this that make my day transition from hour to hour.
This hasn’t been easy for anyone, and since I had to learn all of this overnight I’m pretty sure the kids will be running for the hills as soon as they get a chance.
Rules! I only had a few before now, but I’m learning quickly that this job comes with a lot more than I ever expected. When you have the lives of others in your hands, you try not to break them as much. Well, that’s my new rule anyway.
So stay tuned for the rules, dress codes, and maybe laws that I try to avoid in #PTADiaries. Like I said I’m not perfect, but hell this might just be the perfect plan to turn me around and make me a burbs mom after all.
*Remember to comment below to suggest next week’s story and feel free to share. Oh, most of all let’s have fun with this. Copyright @ A.M. Willard – 2016. Not professionally edited.*
