Holy Crap! I’ve made it two months now smoke free and haven’t flipped out… Well, I might have flipped my lid a few times but its been better than I thought it would be.
Some of you might know this but some not as I never made a public service announcement to the fact that I smoked or was quitting. Friends and family of course knew, but not many readers.
I have to say now that I look back I might have been a little embarrassed as it really isn’t the cool thing to do anymore. So why would I draw attention to this little fact about me? I don’t know either… So, let’s carry on shall we.
Two months and a day ago I threw the last pack away and said I was ready. It wasn’t because my doctor, husband, or anyone else had asked. It was a simple choice I was ready to make. See back in October I was scared out of my mind that I had breast cancer. Yes, I just threw out that big C word.. I’m here to tell you I am fine and clear of that nasty C word..
I tried to hold it all together as we went through testing, a biopsy, mammograms, and all that jazz that us ladies love to have done. It wasn’t until my doctor called to tell me that I needed the biopsy that I decided to freak and go to that one place you just don’t want to go to.
While doing the test, and waiting I realized that I needed to get my crap together. I needed to become healthy, and that first step was to put the nasty habit down. See when I make my mind up, I can do about anything I want… BUT it has to be when I am ready. As a person he had kicked the habit a few times in the past and even stayed away while pregnant and nursing, I knew I could do this once again. And I say once again and I mean FOREVER!
This now leads me to a WHOLE different dilemma now. I want to eat everything… I’ve turned into a board eater, the one that stashes away food in her desk drawer. Okay, so the drawer is filled with gum, cinnamon disc, mints, and I think that wraps it up… I still want to eat..
Today I decided that this wasn’t going to work… I mean I can’t go back to smoking, and I dang sure don’t want to gain like 50 pounds or any of the weight I’ve worked so hard to get off. Now, I have a glass of water and will refill it each time I want to bored eat while I figure out what exercise I want to focus on to keep things moving.
It’s on battle that I am going to put my all into. No smoking… No gaining weight… Exercise more…
I don’t even declare this as a New Year’s Resolution as those never work for me, it’s more about me and shaping myself to the person I want to be.
As I still struggle with the cravings, I know I can get past them as I learn new ways to handle it. We’re still deciding on what to do with the mass that has taken up residence in my body and doesn’t want to move. This has been more of a struggle than not having a smoke. Once I figure that out, and know for sure what I should do we will leap over that hurdle with great stride.
Until I have those answers I plan to stay focused on kicking the habit, staying healthy, and writing as much as possible.
Happy Tuesday guys and I hope to hear from you soon. Oh and if you have any great tips, comment below and share them with us. I would love to hear from you all.